Jen Wainwright is a regular contributor on the Great Lakes Bay Moms website. Jen is also a freelance writer who creates for many different venues.
“I want to watch Electric Company!” screamed my 7-year-old daughter.
“I want Spiderman!” yelled my 3-year-old son.
“I want My Little Pony!” cried my 3-year-old daughter.
Add to this: He won’t share! She got to pick the treat last time! He brushed his teeth first! I want a turn! It’s not fair!
Imagine this scenario on repeat, continuously, and you get the point. My inner Zen was slipping…and then I remembered “Kid of the Day.”
I can’t take credit for this, in my opinion, ingenious concept. I first read about the concept of Kid of the Day in a magazine, right after my twins were born. The mom who wrote the article was a parent to seven children. Yes. Seven…At any rate, she felt like her household was being consumed by squabbles, from what television show was on to where each child sat in the vehicle, etc. She began Kid of the Day as a way to end the fight, as in, “Alright! Who’s Kid of the Day? You choose the seat/show/etc…” And, apparently, it worked.
Not only did Kid of the Day work as a feud-displacer, but it also created a secondary benefit, according to this article. This mom (of seven) found that Kid of the Day allowed her a chance to catch a small moment of one-on-one time with her child “of the day”. In a family with seven children, she found one-on-one time almost impossible. And yet, Kid of the Day gave her the chance to say, “I’m going to go downstairs and unload/load laundry. Would Kid of the Day like to come?” Or, “I’m running to the store, would Kid of the Day like to come?” Written a decade after she began Kid of the Day, she claimed the concept precious to her family for reasons she never planned on, but came to cherish.
Hopeful (and at wits end), we began Kid of the Day in our household. I cleared our refrigerator for emphasis, and put up three pictures of each of our children, with a magnetic photo frame to adorn the Kid of the Day. I explained the concept to our children, explaining that each day a child would be Kid of the Day on rotation. My 7-year-old immediately made a chart declaring which day was whose, and our family was excited at the concept.
I must admit that in the very beginning, it was a bit of a let down to the children that Kid of the Day rights didn’t include, “I want Chuckie Cheese’s for breakfast, and I want this toy on this day, and etc…”. I had to remind them that some days, Kid of the Day may go unnoticed if nothing came up on that specific day. No worries—they would get another turn in just two short days (in our family of three children).
Kid of the Day concept in place, let me share a few things that Kid of the Day has offered us so far:
- On a trip to pick up pizza for the night, my 7-year-old declared, “I want purple soda!” while my 3-year-old son protested, “I want orange!” An age-old problem for parents who want to be fair…I gently said, “Who is Kid of the Day today?” My children answered, as they all knew, my three-year-old daughter. She chose: orange. The other two wanted to balk, but in respect of Kid of the Day—they couldn’t! We left peacefully, and my oldest (who just had to have purple) learned that she actually likes orange soda.
- A different day, I was heading out for a short outing. I asked Kid of the Day if she’d like to come, and she said, “Yes”. However, the other two chimed in quickly that they wanted to come, too. I asked Kid of the Day, “Would you like to have a solo outing, or would you like to share your outing with your brother and sister?” She chose to share, and all three came with me as chosen by Kid of the Day.
- Squabbles over the television are much less intense, as are arguments over who sits where on the couch, or closest to Mommy. It’s a beautiful thing.
- Kid of the Day chooses who brushes their teeth first at night, sometimes choosing to go first and get it over with, or wait until the end because they can.
- During the never-ending decisions about what to eat, with three options always up for grabs, Kid of the Day decides. Peacefully.
I’m sure a million other examples will come up as we invite Kid of the Day into our lives. I’ve found, so far, that it truly gives each of my children a moment in their day to “Choose”. In a world where so many decisions are handed-down, each of my children seems to truly appreciate this. Also, as the squabbles lessen, I find I’m not the only one who appreciates this. Our children don’t want to squabble, and Kid of the Day has given them an outlet, as well, to know that problems can be squashed. I hear them in their bedrooms saying, “Alright! Who’s Kid of the Day?” Smile.
Finally, the amount of respect it takes to continuously respect Kid of the Day is also teaching my children how to abide by a rule out of respect. They understand that in order for the Kid of the Day concept to work, and help, they have to respect it. If they balk Kid of the Day, it’s futile. And they know this. Can you spell P-R-I-C-E-L-E-S-S?
Feel free to email me at [email protected] if you have any questions about Kid of the Day, and good luck! If you know of a concept that will end ALL squabbling, sibling rivalry and the likes, please let me know! Until then, I find Kid of the Day a ray of light in this sometimes dark tunnel of parenting.