Jen is a work-at-home mom, parent to three, and she’s been a stepparent for over 15 years. She is well-equipped to discuss and write about the great, and the not-so-great, details of all-things-parenting. Along with spending quality time with her family, Jen enjoys music, chocolate, camping and relaxing. And laughing!
Want kids to learn to think? Give them many chances to practice. Use the following Parent Talk phrase often, “What if…?” – Chick Moorman
The word “game changer” keeps coming to mind: a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation
or activity in a significant way. “Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound” by Chick Moorman was one of the first game changers I encountered in my world of parenting. Guiding profound results in my home and the way I speak to my children, the book even centered my goals toward what I’m hoping to achieve in raising my children. Game changer…
If you’ve not yet heard of Chick Moorman, or read any of his 13 books – including “Parent Talk” which we will discuss here – you’re missing out on straight-forward skills that can empower both children and parents.
GreatLakesBayMoms.com got a chance to speak with Moorman, author and professional speaker, who resides in our backyard of Merrill, Michigan and travels worldwide promoting his mission: “I help people who work with kids to help raise responsible, caring and conscious young people,” Moorman said.
Moorman is a friendly sage, wise in a non-overbearing way. He’s big on using analogies to bring home his work and goals.
“Only skill saves,” Moorman said. “If you’re thrown off a boat in the middle of an ocean…it doesn’t matter if you’ve read about swimming, researched it or understand the philosophy behind swimming…Only skill saves. I’m about offering these skills, these verbal skills to parents and teachers.”
“Parent Talk” was released in 1999, before smartphones and iPads, yet still resonates at the very core of parents around the world today. As Moorman said, “Kids are still kids, parents are still parents and kids still need parents.”
Moorman points out that even he wasn’t fully aware of the power in “Parent Talk” upon initial release. Quick and effective answer-backs to daily happenings in a parents’ world – “But he made me so mad!” or even “I hate you, Mommy!” — combined with opportunities to offer children responsibility and ownership — “Pick. Choose. You Decide.” Check. The phrases are in there…
But, these phrases not only teach parents effective communication – they inadvertently teach the beliefs and philosophy of effective parenting. (Like I said, “Parent Talk helped center my goals toward what I hope to achieve in raising my children…Truth.)
“Parents around the world tell me, ‘You helped me be the parent I always wanted to be’,” Moorman said. “The phrases work.”
That is… if you use them.
“The best way to simply begin,” Moorman said, “is to begin simply.”
Moorman recommends picking out two or three phrases from “Parent Talk” that resonate with your family, putting them on notecards around the house or in your pocket and using them – even overusing them – until they feel natural. And then moving on and adding more phrases…
“Different children have different needs” currently hangs on our dining room wall – a satisfying phrase to remember in the face of “It’s not fair!” I find “Check Yourself” to be amazingly helpful, in numerous ways… “I noticed the way you…” is kindly effective, versus useless flattery that all sounds like “It’s Great, Honey!”
I wish I could carry Chick Moorman in my pocket, and pull him out whenever needed. “Parent Talk” proves to be the next-best-thing, though I’m currently reading, “The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need” by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller — which I may have to carry from now on in my other pocket.
Chick Moorman. His books, thoughts, skills…they’re game changers, Folks.
“The best way to simply begin, is to begin simply.”
*Sign up for Chick Moorman’s “The Response-Able Parent Newsletter” at www.chickmoorman.com or “like” Chick Moorman on Facebook, and receive short, inspirational “Parent Talk Tips” of great usefulness. Look for more from Chick Moorman with GreatLakesBayMoms.com!
by: Jen Wainwright