Jen is a freelance writer, parent to three, and she’s been a stepparent for over 15 years. She is well-equipped to discuss and write about the great, and the not-so-great, details of all-things-parenting. Along with spending quality time with her family, Jen enjoys music, chocolate, camping and relaxing. And laughing!
JEN’S ZEN – 2014
The thing about New Year’s resolutions…is that I don’t do them. Or least, I haven’t really. Do you?
I mean, I’ve always applauded the effort, and the results around me of those who do. I’ve seen recently on FB: “I’m going back to school”. Awesome. “We’re getting married!” Fantastic. “Up at 5 a.m., and off to the gym.” Wow. Now, that is impressive…
Something about New Year’s resolutions always seems like setting yourself up for failure – and actually being okay with that. As in this statistic from a New York Times blog: “Four out of five people who make New Year’s resolutions will eventually break them. In fact, a third won’t even make it to the end of January.”
Rrrright. See. What’s the point? I’ve always been more of a “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of person, proud of my ability to roll with it – whatever life may bring. And yet, I’m also not 19, or even 25, anymore. There are so many details to life now…Just rolling with it often feels more like I got steamrolled with it…I forgot to pull something out for dinner again. What do you mean you need this dirty shirt today? This bill was due when?
I have three children, two stepchildren and a dog! Life at this point feels like a Monday – all day – every day – without preparedness. Organization. A budget. A plan…
So, I found myself lying in bed, thinking about resolutions and such. About a year of “Mondays” versus a well-thought-out year… (You do that, too? The last few minutes of the day, when the kids are asleep and all is quiet, lying in bed. Some of my greatest thoughts come in those last precious minutes of each day.) I thought, “Maybe it’s the word ‘resolution’ that throws me. What exactly is a ‘resolution’, anyway?” I looked it up on my phone…
Resolution: The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
This lead me to this search result…The top ten resolutions for 2014 in the U.S., from statisticbrain.com, are:
* 1. Lose weight
* 2. Getting organized
* 3. Spend less, save more
* 4. Enjoy life to the fullest
* 5. Staying fit and healthy
* 6. Learning something new and exciting
* 7. Quit smoking
* 8. Help others in their dreams
* 9. Fall in love
* 10. Spend more time with family.
These all sound wonderful – and once again, I applaud the effort and the “firm determination” the New-Year’s-Eve-resolution-makers are implementing right now on making all these positive changes to their current reality…
Yet, lying in bed, I found myself thinking not so much about what I wanted to change this year, but more about goals, and dreams. Maybe it’s me getting older. Maybe it’s me — a parent and a life partner and a homeowner and, and, and…keenly aware now how the details of laundry and dishes and carpooling and raising humans and paying bills and snow shoveling and sick care… can turn years into mere moments – and in a flash, they are the past.
My stepkids are preparing to go out into the world for college this year. They were just two and four…a few loads of laundry ago? A line or two less ago on my aging face…How did I get to be in my mid-thirties? Where does time go? Lying in bed, I found myself thinking, “What don’t I want to miss this year, buried in details…? What do I want to have happen in 2014?”
I thought about vacations I want to take, personal and business goals I would like to achieve, health goals, foods I want to taste, thoughts I want to embrace…I thought of so many amazing things, I didn’t want to forget them. I quickly typed them into my “Notes” area on my phone…
And then it hit me. Did I just create a New Year’s resolution? This list in front of me?
Wait – did I create a bucket list? Shit. I’ve never been good at New Year’s Resolutions…
Call it what you like. I have goals for 2014. I have plans. And you do, too. If you think about them…just lying in bed for a little while, in those precious few moments of quiet…
So say it with me.
2014 is Going to Be Amazing.
And, with firm determination…
Let’s do this. 2014.
JEN’S ZEN
— Because the damn dishes are never done. Laundry is a cruel joke. And because children are beautiful lessons in Patience and Counting. 10, 9, 8, 7 Breathe…