By: Jen Wainwright
Our New Year is here! How’s 2015 going for you so far, Parent?
Resolutions? Goals? Are you thinking about what you want out of your year?
More importantly, though, have you asked yourself this invaluable question: What do you want your year to feel like?
It’s this most important answer that we have to search down and find first – What do I want to feel like in 2015? – which anchors the other details, and possibly open other doors you hadn’t even considered.
It’s pretty common around January-ish to hear, “I’m going to lose 20 pounds this year! I’m getting a gym membership, and I bought all of these protein shakes!”, right? Because losing weight will make you feel…what? Happier in your jeans that fit again? Ready for swimsuit season?
Sure. Check.
But what I’m saying is… about asking yourself something more. What will losing weight ultimately allow you to feel? What is it that actually you’re wanting, what’s at the core? To be healthier? Younger? Sexier – to your significant other, for yourself? Proud that you set a goal, gritted down and accomplished it?
When you take the time to truly identify – to visualize, and sit with, and ask yourself how you want to feel in 2015 – things have a way of working out for you, aligning with you and your goals. But first, you have to wrestle a bit with yourself, ask yourself more – and identify what it is you actually want to achieve, the big picture. What’s the feeling sparking the resolution/change/goal/etc.?
What do you truly want to feel like in 2015?
Let’s say you’ve set a goal, a resolution, for 2015 to “stop yelling”.
Because you want to feel…ultimately…what? Like a better parent? Like a calmer, more put-together-kind-of-person? (Oooh – who doesn’t? I digress…) When you locate the driving force behind the resolution, a world just might open up and options may present themselves to you, all leading to what you truly, ultimately crave to feel.
Kind of like, let’s say this: You want to “stop yelling” in 2015. Because actually, ultimately, you want to feel successful at parenting. Maybe…you focus on the tone of your voice, try to count backwards from 10 before flying off the handle…and you also, thinking about how you want to feel in this year, find yourself purchasing an e-book on parenting (you saw it scrolling on Facebook, perhaps). You fall in love with the book, and the amazing author/parenting life coach that wrote it. And maybe, you find out that the author is visiting your home town! And you and your friends make a date to go…and you sit in a room and hear stories – like your own – and connect with parents who are also just trying to do the best they can. And, maybe even, as you find yourself achieving your goal of yelling less (it got even better, actually, when you began working with said author/life coach…something you hadn’t planned on…), you also find yourself somewhere in 2015 realizing that you set out to stop yelling, and you are – and you’re also feeling wonderful, in-tune with your goals, your kids, your world, and more successful at parenting.
Could your whole year be improved just by truly asking yourself, “What do I want to feel like in 2015?”
A long shot?
Perhaps.
But worth a shot…?
2015. Feel It.
JEN’S ZEN
— Because the damn dishes are never done. Laundry is a cruel joke. And because children are beautiful lessons in Patience and Counting. 10, 9, 8, 7 Breathe…
Jen is a freelance writer, parent to three, and she’s been a stepparent for over 15 years. She is well-equipped to discuss and write about the great, and the not-so-great, details of all-things-parenting. Along with spending quality time with her family, Jen enjoys music, chocolate, camping and relaxing. And laughing!