PostPartum Depression

Dani lives in Bay City with her husband, daughter, and crazy collection of pets. She found her dream job working as a Children’s Librarian, where she feels she has a wonderful opportunity to make a positive impact on the community, and is continually inspired by awesome parents.

Postpartum depression is real! If you are struggling please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to call your doctor.
Here is my story.

This photograph was taken on a perfect day! The weather was beautiful, and we were so grateful to be a family. My husband and I were told we wouldn’t be able to have children, but here she was: our perfectly healthy little girl. We were at one of my favorite places. The sun reflecting off of the snow was beautiful and made it comfortable to spend the afternoon outside.

About 15 minutes after we took this picture I had a panic attack. The world just started spinning for no reason, and I couldn’t breathe! I didn’t understand how I could have a panic attack when I was so happy!

I didn’t understand how I could have a panic attack when I was so happy!

When we got home I swore at my husband for the way he parked. (We don’t swear at each other. Ever!) The unkindness towards the person I loved most made me realized something was not right. I called my doctor, even though I was beyond embarrassed. I was eating healthy food and exercising every day. Why couldn’t I control myself? Was it because I’m too fat?

Thankfully Dr. Helibraun, at Valley OB, has a counselor on staff, and she saw me the same day I called. When she asked me how I was, I started sobbing uncontrollably, and said “this is not normal”. After interviewing me about my life, she agreed. My life is wonderful, my husband is an amazing partner and father, I never worry about my next meal, or the roof over my head, most of my maternity leave was paid, and I was over the moon in love with my daughter. I had a chemical imbalance. Not really all that surprising after what my body had been through. But she had to convince me that taking an anti-anxiety medication didn’t mean that I was less of a person. I had done nothing wrong, and I was doing everything possible to be physically healthy. I understand now, and I’m so grateful I made that call.

… she had to convince me that taking an anti-anxiety medication didn’t mean that I was less of a person. I had done nothing wrong, and I was doing everything possible to be physically healthy.

The panic attacks stopped. I hadn’t realized how much energy I was spending on keeping myself calm. I was able to channel all of that energy to bonding with my daughter, and enjoying the rest of my maternity leave.