Jen is a work-at-home mom, parent to three, and she’s been a stepparent for over 15 years. She is well-equipped to discuss and write about the great, and the not-so-great, details of all-things-parenting. Along with spending quality time with her family, Jen enjoys music, chocolate, camping and relaxing. And laughing! To learn more about Jen and her writing follow her at FEEL THESE WORDS.
JEN’S ZEN – LiveWhen I was about eight years old, I found a letter in my dad’s desk… Wait. First I have to tell you this!
At the end of this month, I will be traveling abroad for the first time in my life! To Europe! With my dad! I get teary even thinking about this…My dad. His wit. His humor. His knowledge. He’s the person who took me traveling, always encouraging me…to want to see more. Taste more. Try more… He hitchhiked around Europe when he was 18…I grew up on the stories. And my brother! My brother, all of 20 now – we’ve never traveled together. My stepmom, aunt and close family friend round out the London and France-bound crew! The surrealism of this adventure is overwhelming! Ahhh! I’m so excited! I keep waiting — literally for my passport to come – but more for someone to pinch me! This trip is literally a check off my bucket list, and part of me is downright giddy!
Ah. But, I said it.
Part of me…
Part of me. Can you believe that? How can that be? I’m going to Europe! I will have 10 days of no children, no work – a vacation! Part of me…?
I was 18, traveling with a friend…We decided we needed to break free from the walls of Bridgeport, Michigan, and travel the open road like Jack Kerouac…Just to see what else was out there. I remember so clearly… thinking, as she drove and I rode with the window down — my feet hanging out, the wind in my hair– that I couldn’t possibly have a better moment in life than that exact moment. I had it all. Not One Care in the world. We could go wherever we wanted, do whatever we wanted. No timeline, no commitments…I felt completely free.
What I didn’t know at 18…is what I do know now. That while that moment was amazing, no doubt – and I’m so grateful I experienced it — there is something infinitely better. Almost exactly 18 years later, I live a life in many ways the exact opposite of carefree. A life with commitments, places to be and people who absolutely depend on me. I am a Parent.
We’re all Parents here. And Parents know…that I’d be a damn liar if I didn’t say that I have worries…I’m a mom. I have children, and a partner, and a life. Planes shake me. The what if’s…linger.
The letter I found when I was eight, in my dad’s desk…It was addressed to me. I opened it. A year or two old, it read “I’m heading to a conference for work in Texas, and I have worries…” The letter went on to read that, should it all go wrong – he needed me to know these things…mostly, how much he loved me.
Parents know very well what that letter said, and meant. What I couldn’t fully comprehend at eight reading that letter, I so clearly do now. What I couldn’t yet know at 18, I wholeheartedly do now. The opposite of carefree — is CareFull. Caring so much. Loving so much that…I almost said No to Europe. I felt like as a Parent, I should put my children above my wants, take the safe route…I almost said No.
But Parents also know that Parenting… is tricky. It’s not all flowery, and it’s not always pretty. We are raising people, butting heads sometimes while ultimately nurturing souls that will one day…raise souls of their own. We need them to have certain values, understand the way life works. While part of me feels frightened, the grit in me that comes from being a Parent– the grit that resides in all of us Parents – the grit that gets us through whiny days, sick nights and tantrums – the grit that pushes us to be better, learn more, give more, Be more. The grit pulled, too.
What kind of Parent would you be running away – out of Fear — from something you’ve wanted to experience for over half of your life? How will you ever drive a car again, then? Accidents happen. Best stay home, Jen, covered in antibacterial gel…How will you ever tell your kids “Shoot For the Moon”, and to hold on to their dreams — when you walked away from yours? Gonna hide it? Not let on…to what you passed up? Even if they never know – You Will. Are you ready for that change in who you are as Parent? Practice what you preach. Live by example…
Europe. Bucket list. Trip of a lifetime. With the person who ignited in me… the need to Experience.
Part of me… is excited beyond words!
Part of me… may craft long letters to my children, similar in nature to the one I found from my own Parent.
But All of Me… knows I ultimately need nothing more as a Parent than for my children to understand this:
Fuck Fear. Carpe Diem. It’s the only way to truly Live.
JEN’S ZEN
— Because the damn dishes are never done. Laundry is a cruel joke. And because children are beautiful lessons in Patience and Counting. 10, 9, 8, 7 Breathe…
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