By: Jen Wainwright
Amidst a swirling sea of change…
The other day, snuggled up on the couch with my kids, my daughter’s foot caught my eye. Shaped liked her dad’s, dirty from eight-year-old play…she’s heading into women’s shoes now. I thought about her tiny, newborn foot from not very long ago…
I stared down at my four-year-old daughter’s hand, resting on my chest. Her little, long fingers with chipped nail polish in a different rainbow color on each nail. She was a preemie once…her little hand could barely grasp my finger…
How quickly it all changes.
Digging through closets as of late, ridding the clutter and readying for Spring, I found myself thinking back to an earlier version of myself at this same time of year. A stay at home parent then, with long days of open time…my oldest, a mere toddler, sitting on the floor playing as I packed away her precious dresses and favorite t-shirts and adorable pants for the hypothetical next child.
I could actually feel those moments, that time…
Yet this time, I found myself packing boxes to give away, as there are no more hypothetical children. Our family is pleasantly set. Donating the dresses both my oldest daughter wore, and my youngest…the little pants she jumped mud puddles in…his t-shirt he wore when he sang his ABC’s so proudly…
This time, I found myself rushing to get done. Three kids were popping in and out, wanting to play and go and do as my house begged for attention and our dog needed a bath and dinner needed to be cooked and…
A different experience this Spring, cleaning out the closets…changes…a different time in our lives.
As parents, you’d think we’d be experts at change. The very rhythm of our lives is based on change. We get a handle on breastfeeding, and our child weans. We figure out a sleep schedule or a nap routine, only in time for it to change. We get used to naps, and they stop taking them…get used to an unnatural schedule of alarms and homework and school just about the time spring break throws a curveball and right before summer vacation comes to…change it all again. Tiny toddlers become teenagers…girls grow into women. Life is always changing.
My mom has never made any secret of the fact that she dislikes change. She’s always says she wishes things could “just stay the same”. Ours has never been a combative relationship – I adore her. But, I, on the other have often found comfort in…change.
The only thing that remains the same is change.
My children know this phrase like the back of their ever-changing hands, because I speak it so often. It’s inevitable. It’s true. Change is, as I see it, one of the only certainties in our lives: The only thing that remains the same is change.
I know one day…I’ll look back on this Spring. When I was busy. And the kids were crazy. And we had Lucky, our first family dog. When our son lived on peanut butter, and we lived in this house…this time in our lives. I don’t know where I’ll be when I look back…No one knows what’s coming next. All we can know for certain…is that change will occur.
But…have you ever been on the receiving end of an overwhelming stage of changes? Challenging changes, a-lot-of-changes-all-at-once changes…? Found yourself searching for a piece of solid footing… amidst a swirling sea of change? Looked at your children’s growing feet…or packed up a Spring-cleaned closet of goodbye’s…prepared for something new and exciting…yet had to let go…?
And wished, for a moment, that everything could just stay the same?
I sound like my mom…
My my. How things change…
JEN’S ZEN
— Because the damn dishes are never done. Laundry is a cruel joke. And because children are beautiful lessons in Patience and Counting. 10, 9, 8, 7 Breathe…
Jen is a freelance writer, parent to three, and she’s been a stepparent for over 15 years. She is well-equipped to discuss and write about the great, and the not-so-great, details of all-things-parenting. Along with spending quality time with her family, Jen enjoys music, chocolate, camping and relaxing. And laughing!